Monday, January 17, 2011

Trading Hooters for Blazing Balls

Wings Etc.
2815 Gateway South Drive
Goshen, IN 46526
Ph. 574-537- 9464

Ok. SuitOchoCinco was headed to a Goshen treasure to eat.
Upon arriving he was disappointed to learn that it was closed on Mondays.

Well, that didn't stop OchoCinco's stomach from growling.

So he turned his rental around and ventured into the blinding snow set on finding a treasure of his own.

I drove by nothing that tickled my proverbial fancy.  Until I saw it . . . Wings, Etc. Nuff said. 

I flipped a U-turn and slid into their parking lot.

I have to tell you, it was impressive.  It was started by a local and now has three locations. 

The service staff was amazingly polite and absofreakinglutely GORGEOUS. 

I mean breathtaking. Jaw dropping even.

I sat at the bar and was immediately greeted. I noticed the beer selection and was impressed . . . A bunch of rot gut domestics but surrounded with a few specialty beers. 

They claim in their signage to have a ton of bottles of beer available. All in all, it was a decent set up.

I had to have the wings right?

They are named Wings, Etc . . . so I had to have them. The menu boasted Jumbo Wings!!

So I order a round of their hottest and settled in.

Then I noticed a table tent that screamed to me. 

"Got Blazin' Balls?" . . . I said out loud "why yes I DO!"

I immediately summoned the gorgeous bartender and proceeded to order the Blazin' Balls as well.

Outstanding . . . Wings and Blazing Balls! How could I go wrong?

While waiting for my culinary delights to finish being fried to golden perfection, I overheard a couple of good ol' boys in the corner who were clearly electricians.

They were talking back and forth about how they liked Governor Daniels of Indiana, but both lied to their union boss controllers telling him they had voted against him fearing retribution. 

They described Daniels' last opponent as a Douche Bag.

About the same time the feminine hygiene products discussion came to a close my balls and wings came out! 

And let me tell you they were . . . . very disappointing.

The "Blazin' Balls" were your typical breaded frozen fried treat. Nothing special and no real blaze to them at all.

The wings were good. Just good.

They were not by any means jumbo but standard sized and the sauce wasn't finger licking great.

But the passing waitresses smile was enough to keep me smiling, so I dug in and kept quiet.

See there was one thing that made the wings completely bearable . . . they were not breaded.

There is nothing Suit OchoCinco hates more is when restaurants ruin wings by breading them.

The truth is, the breading is a mystical magic trick to forced lesser quality small wings down your gullet.

Restaurants coat inexpensive low-quality drummies and wings in breading so you are fooled into believing your are getting a large wing when you're not. 

Even the Wikipedia page describes wings as unbreaded.

Breading equals more money for the owners and less meat for you. 

Why don't they just fry some batter up and place .01 oz. of chicken meat on top of it as a garnish?  

Its the same thing.
Breaded wing eaters are like this people who get well done steaks. 

I want a JUMBO wing with real hot sauce cooked to perfection -- and not slick or fatty.

Upon finishing my meal, I was tempted by a table tent with "pie" on it. I ordered it. 

It was ridiculously pathetic. Seriously Pathetic. Came directly out of a box  in a three-by-three black Styrofoam container

One thing was for certain. The owners of this joint love their food company rep. because whatever frozen crap that guy comes in peddling, these guys buy it.

But the longer I sat there the more I realized what an amazing concept this place was, beautiful women . . . great beer . . . . . . wings . . . . . . . WAIT ! ! ! . . . . . it is a great idea . . . 

And it hasn't lost its luster since Hooters first came up with it in Clearwater, Florida many years ago.

Yes, Wings, Etc. is a Hooters replica. Basically a complete carbon copy.

But they didn't have breaded wings -- and that says a lot.

All in all, it would be a great place to meet the boys to watch a game.  

In a city without a Hooters it is a real gem. 

And even if there was a Hooters I would still pick this place because the wings are not breaded.

RATING: Would Wear a Free Shirt

1 comment:

  1. "Breaded wing eaters are like this people who get well done steaks." You are absolutely right on. Free shirt is about it for this one. Excellent blog!