Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Progressives NOT Welcome

Cutty Sark Marina and Grill

4707 Pretty Lake Drive
Oceanview, Norfolk, VA 23518


hole-in-the-wall: noun
First used in 1856
1. a small often unpretentious out-of-the-way place (as a restaurant)
2. Cutty Sark Marina and Grill

Yes, most definitely when you look in the Encyclopedia Brittanica Merriam Webster Dictionary 2010, the definition of hole in the wall will list the Cutty Sark Marina and Grill, okay, well it should.

This place meets all of the criteria of a hole in the wall: Small, Dumpy, Rude Staff, Odd Decor, Out of the way, Off the beaten path, and did I say Dumpy?

But lemme tell you, if you want a burger some fries and few great insults thrown at you then this is your place.

It is open every day from 830 until ?? and is staffed with the types of salty dogs you would expect in a marina.

There is obviously no dress code for the staff nor the patrons as they all look like they just rolled out of bed. Boat shoes, tattered shirts, and disheveled hair.

Signs litter the wall that are written in black barely legible marker, one showing the price of a pack of liberty sticks (cigarettes) is a whopping $7 but dont complain because as the sign shows its because the big bad government raised the tax "again" and
another "advertising" the $2 jello shots that will be offered as a "special" later in the evening.

The tables are four foot folding plastic ones that are drill into the
wall and supported by random PVC pipes.

The sink for the restrooms is conveniently located IN the dining room and upon opening the door to the restrooms you are greeted with a 3 foot by 11 inch walkway to which you can open the door to go into the 3 foot by 3 foot mens and womans toilets.

In short . . . this place rocks . . .

On any given Friday night it will be standing room only with everyone from the yacht owner to the roughneck elbowing each other out of the way to be told off by the ornery bartender right before she literally slings a frosty beverage your way.

I arrived to review this little nugget at 1146am on a Sunday. I was tossed a breakfast menu sat at a booth.

I wasnt in the mood for breakfast and asked for a lunch menu. To which I recieved the response . . .

Bartender/server/cook/manger ornery lady:"NO"

Bartender/server/cook/manger ornery lady:"We aint servin lunch till noon"

Suit OchoCinco: "Ah . . . well its only fifteen minutes until then so can I please look at a menu for lunch?"

Bartender/server/cook/manger ornery lady: "NO . . . We aint servin lunch till noon . . . howd you like it if I cook your eggs with a burger next to it? You wouldnt . . . so wait till noon."

Suit OchoCinco: "Yes maam"

Suit OchoCinco: "What kind of beer do you have?"

Bartender/server/cook/manger ornery lady: "Cold ones"

Suit OchoCinco: "Yes maam"

At high noon I was tossed a lunch menu and scanned such delicacies as: peanut butter and jelly sandwich, steak tips, burgers, chicken sandwiches and jalapeƱo poppers.

I had been here before and had the burger and it was phenomenal so I decided to go with the tried and true and order the bacon cheese burger medium with fried okra as my side (yes fried okra . . . told you this place rocked)

My son Mini OchoCinco ordered the peanut and butter sandwich and much to my surprise she warned us that it was crunchy peanut butter and if we didnt like it then we were out of luck "cause I told you bout it."

Actually I am of the firm belief that the only people that like creamy peanut butter are progressive San Fransisco liberals, toothless 80 year olds and French President Nicolas Sarkozy so I was quite pleased.

Not that long after we ordered, by the way the grill and frier are behind the bar and the bartender is the cook as well as everything else, a piping hot thick burger arrived at the table with a mound of golden fried okra accompanied by a thick and generous portion of Crunchy PB and J.

Just looking at it I knew it was going to be awesome, I dug and was reassured as I tore into the molten beef, fried pig and melted cheese.

The fried okra was outstanding cooked to the perfect texture and was a welcome accompaniment to the burger.

2 words: Nail on the head -- it was great.

Cutty Sark Marina and grill is shoved in to the back of a small marina that is equally as shoved between two larger marinas. It has no markings on the outside and you would never know it is a restaurant.

And it needs to stay that way. One visit from some Gang Green Eco Nazi and the place would be shut down. Its everything I described above which makes it something our typical Obama loving Americans havent been in awhile. REAL.

I wouldnt change a thing. Nothing. Zip. Zero. Zilch.

And I am sure as all heck not showing anyone but my dearest friends and fellow suits where it is.

For fear some red diaper doper baby would try to regulate, fix or otherwise screw it up because it is SO FAR from politically correct.

RATING: Would have bought the shirt . . . "But we dont sell no shirts"


  1. Hell yes! Love places like that, the grubbier the better!

  2. Well,

    I'm not really glad that you came to our restaurant. We boaters have been coming here for many years (myself at least 20) and we like it the way it is. We don't want it to change. We can remember the depths of winter, with a bartender and 2-3 customers; singing Christmas Carols, good fellowship.

    And it is not a grubby little place. If you think so, don't come back. We don't want you.
    The CUTTY is the Cutty and we hope it will stay that way.

    Foods great, beer cold, people ar really friendly, what more could a boater want? Plus they clean my bottom too.

  3. Well,

    You sir clearly need a sense of humor. this restuarant received the highest rating possible and has generated sales for the establishment based of the numerous positive responses we have had to it. All material you take issue was clearly written in JEST.

    I SuitOchoCinco have been going there as a "regular" for many years and have probably sat next to you. So . . . that being said. R E L A X.

    Fans reading this . . . the complaining gentlmen above proves every point I was trying to make in the review.


    Man those burgers are good, and the best time is spring time on the deck with the bands... (my friends that play in the bands agree by the way)