Bringing the Outdoors Inside

Cabela's
100 Cabela's Dr.
Hamburg, PA 19526
(and in a few other places across the fruited plain)




As a suit that goes to strange places, I seldom get to indulge in the pleasures of the great outdoors. Miraculously, this time I had the chance to eat food that "supposedly" wasn't farm raised and was significantly more interesting than bland beef or rubber chicken with too much salt.

Even though Suit 777 is a true lover of all animals served on a plate with a side of a different animal, garnished with another of God's creatures in its proper place, sometimes cow, pig and chicken, just get boring after a while.

Cabela's proclaims that they are the "World's most foremost outfitter". I agree, but think they should also claim the title of "worst enemy of PETA and Purveyor of the Means to put fury creatures on our plates!"

Many a fury thing has met its demise because a red blooded American male with a 30-06 or a .300 Winchester magnum has spied it in his scope. And thank goodness, because if we weren't placing the Lord's fuzzy critters on our plates, I'm pretty sure the world would have ended; probably swamped with squirrels and bunnies like Captain Kirk was in The Trouble with Tribbles.

Moving on to the reason for my side trip to male nirvana! They serve GAME at their in store restaurant! Now that is a completely American slice of righteousness!

Standing in the short line at the Cabela's in-store cafe` is almost as fun as standing at the firearms counter xperimenting with the newest in technology designed to place one of God's furry creatures on my plate!

Reading the menu in my Brooks Bros. suit didn't bother me one bit. I'm a Suit in Strange Places and being able to order the pulled warthog sandwich instead of the typical pulled pork or a not quite yet classic elk burger is definitely a great moment!

Being as ravenous as a bobcat that has just woken up from a long winter's hibernation, I decided the elk burger was definitely the way to go...

...but my hopes were slightly dashed when I learned I wasn't getting a whole elk.  But a 1/3 lb burger is almost good enough when you add the fries, Mtn. Dew and peanut butter cheesecake.

Being a nice and social guy, I questioned the cook where they got the elk for the burger... when I learned it was farm raised elk and not actual game, I became the proverbial bear... well only on the inside.

Oh well, we can't win them all in the culinary-oddity world.

The burger with all the classic American toppings (lettuce, ketchup, pickles, onions, mustard and mayo) was absolutely choice! Loved it! Apparently, the butcher knew how to cut the elk up without damaging any glands and it completely avoided the gamey taste a lot of meats get.

The fries were merely your typical fries but they still complimented the dead 2200 lb animal on my plate very well!

I definitely recommend getting your burger with a Mtn. Dew. There is just something about the crisp flavor of the radio active green beverage that just says... "I was made to be drunk with a burger and fries!"

Finally, the cheesecake! Oh My GOODNESS! It was so rich and heavy I had to take it home with me. I couldn't finish it in the store.  It was fantastic!

Well I could say I bought the t-shirt just for this trip, but I've already bought several other items of clothing and equipment from this fine outfitter!

I retired from this event knowing that I had done my part in keeping furry creatures from taking over the world! 

Rating: Bought the Shirt! (or in this case the flannel shirt)

A Chance Encounter Goes Bad

The Boat Yard Bar and Grill

1308 East Main St.
Stamford, CT 06902





Being in a new city for the first time presents the interesting challenge, “where do I find a place to eat that isn’t completely boring and will actually serve food that has flavor?”

Well, try as I might to find a place that fit the bill, Stamford CT just lacks for originality. Searching high and low, I just couldn’t find a place that was different than the run of the mill “trying to be Irish” bar.

If you’re in the mood for American staples, served in a place that thinks the Shamrock and tri-color Irish flag are the only decorations ever invented, go to Stamford CT. I think I saw 13 Irish pubs listed on my GPS.

Miraculously, I happened upon the Boat Yard.  Not exactly a “hole in the wall” but it is hidden from the beaten path, and if I’d been driving faster than the posted speed limit, I probably would have missed what appeared to be a welcome reprieve from faux Irish accents and the ever present notion that the only beer in the world is Guinness.

As the name would suggest, the place has a distinct nautical theme. Sadly the theme does not extend further than the decoration. The only water the restaurant can see is the creek just outside of the dining room windows.

The beer selection in this particular establishment sadly lacks. On tap they had Land Shark and Harpoon. Not the greatest beers to be enjoyed alone, but when paired with fish they are passable. 

Starving as I was from searching for a place where the food wasn’t served with a side of green sprinkles, I ordered the fried fish platter, hoping against hope it would be heaping full of cod and coleslaw.

I was deceived!  Not only did I get a mere three pieces of fish…they were only the size of chicken nuggets! It would seem to me that a place called the Boat Yard would be able to serve at least a whole fish to for lunch. Guess the ocean is running low on cod.

The coleslaw was also a dramatic let down.  Served in a tiny cup, it was more of a relish than slaw. In fact, I asked the waitress if it was relish and she informed me that it was the slaw. 

WOW, I've had vinegary coleslaw before, but it was more potent than any other I've ever had. I didn't even need to use the malt vinegar they provided with the three fish-nuggets. I'm fairly certain the vinegar content of that slaw will be giving me ulcers in the distant future.

Small as the portion of sea life was, it was tasty but heavily over breaded. 

I can't let the Boat Yard suffer too much in this review. The food was very artistically arranged. If I’d been looking for a fish platter to put on an advertisement or in an art museum, this would be the one to choose! If I hadn't known better, and just guessed on the size of the meal, I would have thought it was ordered from the seniors' menu or maybe the kid's menu. It was tiny!

The service was also very slow. Now it was the middle of the day, and there was one other customer in the whole restaurant, so I can’t completely fault the staff. You know how hard it is to make sure the water glasses of two people are always full. 

Glad they didn’t ask me to buy the t-shirt, because I would have to say, “I’d use your shirt to clean my grill.”

Oh well, lesson learned. Next time I'm going to look for a place that's more run down and has more than one car parked out front. 

Rating: Used the t-shirt to clean my grill!