Thursday, September 27, 2012

Bringing the Outdoors Inside

100 Cabela's Dr.
Hamburg, PA 19526
(and in a few other places across the fruited plain)

As a suit that goes to strange places, I seldom get to indulge in the pleasures of the great outdoors. Miraculously, this time I had the chance to eat food that "supposedly" wasn't farm raised and was significantly more interesting than bland beef or rubber chicken with too much salt.

Even though Suit 777 is a true lover of all animals served on a plate with a side of a different animal, garnished with another of God's creatures in its proper place, sometimes cow, pig and chicken, just get boring after a while.

Cabela's proclaims that they are the "World's most foremost outfitter". I agree, but think they should also claim the title of "worst enemy of PETA and Purveyor of the Means to put fury creatures on our plates!"

Many a fury thing has met its demise because a red blooded American male with a 30-06 or a .300 Winchester magnum has spied it in his scope. And thank goodness, because if we weren't placing the Lord's fuzzy critters on our plates, I'm pretty sure the world would have ended; probably swamped with squirrels and bunnies like Captain Kirk was in The Trouble with Tribbles.

Moving on to the reason for my side trip to male nirvana! They serve GAME at their in store restaurant! Now that is a completely American slice of righteousness!

Standing in the short line at the Cabela's in-store cafe` is almost as fun as standing at the firearms counter xperimenting with the newest in technology designed to place one of God's furry creatures on my plate!

Reading the menu in my Brooks Bros. suit didn't bother me one bit. I'm a Suit in Strange Places and being able to order the pulled warthog sandwich instead of the typical pulled pork or a not quite yet classic elk burger is definitely a great moment!

Being as ravenous as a bobcat that has just woken up from a long winter's hibernation, I decided the elk burger was definitely the way to go...

...but my hopes were slightly dashed when I learned I wasn't getting a whole elk.  But a 1/3 lb burger is almost good enough when you add the fries, Mtn. Dew and peanut butter cheesecake.

Being a nice and social guy, I questioned the cook where they got the elk for the burger... when I learned it was farm raised elk and not actual game, I became the proverbial bear... well only on the inside.

Oh well, we can't win them all in the culinary-oddity world.

The burger with all the classic American toppings (lettuce, ketchup, pickles, onions, mustard and mayo) was absolutely choice! Loved it! Apparently, the butcher knew how to cut the elk up without damaging any glands and it completely avoided the gamey taste a lot of meats get.

The fries were merely your typical fries but they still complimented the dead 2200 lb animal on my plate very well!

I definitely recommend getting your burger with a Mtn. Dew. There is just something about the crisp flavor of the radio active green beverage that just says... "I was made to be drunk with a burger and fries!"

Finally, the cheesecake! Oh My GOODNESS! It was so rich and heavy I had to take it home with me. I couldn't finish it in the store.  It was fantastic!

Well I could say I bought the t-shirt just for this trip, but I've already bought several other items of clothing and equipment from this fine outfitter!

I retired from this event knowing that I had done my part in keeping furry creatures from taking over the world! 

Rating: Bought the Shirt! (or in this case the flannel shirt)

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