Monday, November 8, 2010

Birkenstocks and Burgers


Al's French Fries
1251 Williston Road
South Burlington, VT 05403-5719

After months of meetings on the Left Coast I was excited to head back to the Right coast and escape the bastion of Liberalism.

Alas, it turns out that my next trip was to . . . Vermont.


Burlington, Vermont is 2492 miles away from Los Angeles, California.

But, you cant tell. It might as well be a county in Cali.

It's just colder and doesn't have as many Mexicans.

From the “Convert to Socialism” booths located on Church Street to their self avowed socialist Senator Bernie “Crazy hair” Sanders, Burlington seems to be a cross section of Socialists, Marxists, Communists, and Progressives.

Thank God they love to eat.

In this instance I had walked by enough tofu taco and smoothie houses in Cali to keep me in a perpetual state of hunger.

So I needed an influx of heart stopping, carb-filled junk and quickly.

South Burlington, Vermont was more than happy to oblige.


Al's French Fries was started in 1940 and was originally a trailer in Mallets Bay.

Later, it became a full-blown shack until -- slowly but surely -- its nationwide reputation for “the best fries on the planet” allowed them to take permanent residence on Williston Road in South Burlington.

Before I go on, I will say one epic "fail" is the lack of beer on the menu.

But keeping the original feel and ambiance of the Original Al's is first and foremost, so Suit OchoCinco felt he could let it go this time.


I stepped up to the counter, and it was old school.

Clerks yelling orders to short order cooks who were yelling orders to fry cooks.

Food flying out as quick as it was ordered.

You can stand and watch your food being prepared, and it was comforting to see the piles of sliced pig, beef, tuna, and various other animals sizzling to golden perfection.

One of the best parts about eating this type of food in Vermont is the hot dog bun.

Yes. The hot dog bun.

It’s not your typical hot dog bun which is basically all crust.

Its better.

Its like a thick piece of Wonderbread folded in half then toasted on both sides.


I was starving as always, so I ordered a quart of their famous fries, double cheeseburger, a hot dog and a tuna boat (I said I was hungry)

It came out in under four minutes, cooked to order.

The hand cut institution they call fries steamed from every corner of the carton and literally screamed for me to ingest their yummy goodness.

Now, at Al's they do it a little different.

Every table has a clear squirt bottle on it filled with Vinegar, and the locals tell me that it is imperative that you soak your fries in it.

I was game.

I soaked my fries and started in. Whoa!

These fries were second to no other I have ever had ever in my short but traveled life.


They are comfortable, home-cooked deliciousness.

Needless to say the Burger, Dog, and Tuna boat were phenomenal.

But man. Those Fries. Wow.

I walked up to the counter and ordered another quart for the ride and went on my merry way.

The land of the Birkenstocks may make me want to gag repeatedly with there incessant liberalism.

But man, they know how to make French Fries.

RATING: Bought the shirt

1 comment:

  1. You need Montreal Steak Seasoning in addition to the vinegar.

    It's unbelievable.

    ReplyDelete