Showing posts with label PBR. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PBR. Show all posts

Friday, June 15, 2012

Pabst Blue Ribbon, Scrapple and the Downfall of NASCAR





Countrie Eatery
950 North State St.
Dover, DE




This was almost the year I said, “Forget it.”

Almost.

Like a battered wife with low self esteem, I keep coming back for more.

I’ve been making the trek up the Eastern Shore for a decade now to sit in the June sun, drink beer and watch the spring NASCAR race at the Dover International Speedway.

But this was the year I had decided I’d had enough.

Enough of the political correctness, boring races and reality TV hosts who pass as modern day racers.

But in the end it was my Dover pre-race ritual and visions of those twin Delmarva Peninsula specialties of scrapple and crab cakes that prodded me to bite the bullet and renew my tickets for 2012.

That, and the fact that Dover was offering the tickets for HALF PRICE this year in a desperate attempt to fill all the empty seats at Dover Downs.

I’m an old school NASCAR fan. To prove it, I wore my two decade old Alan Kulwicki 1992 Hooters Winston Cup Championship t-shirt this year.

I’ve been following NASCAR since I was a kid in the good ol’ days back in the mid eighties.

Back when Earnhardt still drove the Wrangler Jeans car and Terry Labonte won the Winston Cup Championship in a car sponsored by Piedmont Airlines.

Back when the drivers were good ol’ Southern boys more interested in banging fenders and winning races than hawking insurance and Disney movies on TV before jetting off to their Manhattan penthouses.

Back when NASCAR raced on fun door-handle-to-door-handle tracks across the South like Rockingham, Hickory, Wilkesboro and South Boston.

Back when the sponsor of the series was a cigarette, the best drivers had a Southern drawl and the winner got to make out with the trophy girl in Victory Lane.

The good ol’ days.

My first race was at Martinsville. On the backstretch in chicken bone alley. For thirty bucks, you could claim any piece of concrete twenty feet behind the catch fence.

After a day of racing, one half of my face would be burnt red from the sun and the other coated black in tire rubber and brake dust, ears ringing for days.

It took a certain amount of open mindedness and courage to venture north into enemy territory past the Dixieland landmark “The South Ends Here” sign on US 13 to watch a race at Dover.

During the sport’s heyday in the 90s, the fun of watching rough and tumble drivers bang and bump around the race track caught on across the country.

Even a few open minded Yankees took notice.

Dover’s stands began to fill with newly converted race fans from the big cities like Washington DC, Baltimore, Philadelphia -- even New York City.

Granted, it’s an eclectic mix.

But even the Yankees seemed to appreciate what made NASCAR special.

The first time I took my fellow redneck, Suit69, to a race at Dover, I tried to prepare him for the probability of being surrounded by Yankee race fans.

“They talk funny, but they at least try to fit in,” I explained. “They may not own a gaudy Dale Earnhardt Intimidator Seven Time Champion shirt, but they know enough to show up in whatever ratty old t-shirt they can pull out of the back of their Manhattan loft closet.”

“And they drink American beer like everyone else. These aren’t the Heineken-drinkin’ Yankees Pat Green sings about”, I assured him.

What happened after we took our seats that day in Dover should have been all the indication I needed of the coming collapse of the sport.

Sure enough, we were suddenly surrounded by New York City government union workers wearing NYPD t-shirts and bandanas. No sooner did they start yelling in a thick Chuck Schumer accent to hand them a beer, than the guy with the cooler and the union brotherhood t-shirt starts passing out cans of Heineken.

Suit69 just stared at me dumbfounded.

“I’m sorry,” is all I could muster.

I should have canceled my season tickets on the spot.

But I didn’t.

NASCAR should send a thank you note to the Countrie Eatery less than a mile south of the Dover track.

Because whenever I think about how boring the races at Dover have become, I keep coming back to the fun of my pre-Dover ritual.

There’s just something exciting about lining your stomach with chopped up pig parts and crab meat before a long day of sitting in the sun and drinking massive quantities of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Call it tradition.

I call it the best part of race day.

“The Little Creek and a side of scrapple.” When my waitress appeared, I didn’t even need to look at the menu.

The Little Creek is two poached eggs over a Chesapeake Bay crab cake and an English muffin, smothered in hollandaise sauce.

A steal for ten bucks.

You’d pay double that for the crab cakes alone at some fancy seafood joint on the shores of the Chesapeake.

These crab cakes are the real deal too. A decent amount of seasoned breadcrumbs, but plenty of local crab meat too.

The egg and hollandaise sauce add a heavy accent to the delicate crab flavor without overpowering it.

But the highlight of the day is that other specialty of the Delmarva Peninsula – one that doesn’t swim in the Bay.

Scrapple. Everything but the oink.

I’ve famously detailed my Suit757 fascination with this lowly loaf of chopped up pig parts in a previous review from the other side of the bay.

I’ll spare you the gory piggy details this time.

Suffice to say, the Countrie Eatery’s version of pig loaf doesn’t disappoint.

Thin sliced and fried until crisp, this scrapple has a fun texture. Crispy on the outside, soft on the inside and porky flavored throughout, scrapple is like a poor man’s sausage.

And a great way to prepare for consuming a 30 pack of PBR.

My fellow astute NASCAR fans began to empty out the cozy dining room just as I was polishing off my last few bites of pig parts.

I was so happy, I could just turn around and head south on Route 13 satisfied, past the more comforting “The South Starts Here Sign”, race or not.

“This is why I keep renewing my Dover tickets,” I said to my equally satisfied race companion.

It turns out even with half priced tickets, NASCAR still couldn’t come close to selling out the race. A little over half full, at best.

Of course this is no surprise to any long time fans.

Everything fun about the sport as been driven out in a politically correct suicide pact.

A sport that rose to prominence powered by tobacco money now bans smoking.

A sport founded in the South by good ol’ boys driving fast cars wouldn’t even let golf champion Bubba Watson drive his replica of the “General Lee” in a parade lap earlier this year.

A sport featuring 43 cars racing 200 miles per hour and collectively burning fuel at a gallon per second, now scolds its fans to “Go Green.”

A sport that rose to popularity on “stock cars” banging and bumping to “checkers or wreckers” finishes now mandates identical cookie cutter cars that can’t pass or wreck.

Every move made by the Hollywood suits who now run NASCAR has replaced “fun” with “boring.”

No wonder there are so many empty seats at Dover.

Memo to the suits in the air conditioned skyboxes: fun is better than boring.

This shouldn’t be that damn complicated.

But I’m afraid any hope of turning this sport around died in Turn 4 of the Daytona International Speedway on February 18, 2001 when Dale Earnhardt hit the wall.

The Intimidator would never have tolerated the decline of the sport he loved.

Instead, the sport is now dominated by corporate-polished Yankees straight out of a Dale Carnegie class like Jimmie Johnson – the antithesis of Dale Earnhardt and everything that made the sport so popular in the first place.

The very personification of boring.

Sure enough, after a 13 car pileup on Lap 9, the race settled into a mundane exercise of watching Jimmie Johnson drive around in front of the pack for 400 miles in his “special” car advertizing the new Disney movie “Madagascar 3”.

All I can say is, thank God for good weather and beer.

Fortunately, the powers that be haven’t mustered the courage to ban beer. Not yet.

Oh, they’ve tried.

After September 11, NASCAR clamped down, banning hard side coolers and limiting fans to about a six pack. For “security”. (Where have we seen this movie before?)

I guess they were afraid Osama bin Laden might show up at a NASCAR race and try to hit someone over the head with his dangerous hard side Igloo cooler.

Fortunately, Dover is still independently owned. You can bring in pretty much whatever the hell you want.

In fact, unzipping my cooler to reveal to the gate inspector my stash of nothing but ice and 15 cans of PBR, he just smiled and said, “Be careful coming back down the stairs.”

That’s what I like about Dover.

The NASCAR officials who sanction the events may be doing everything in their power to destroy the sport, but Dover still clings to a few vestiges of the good ol’ days.

Like my pre-race traditions of scrapple and crab cakes at the Countrie Eatery on race morning.

Go ahead. Call me a traditionalist.

As long as the Countrie Eatery’s still open and as long as they’ll still let me sit in the sun, drink beer and watch the cars run around the Monster Mile, I’ll probably keep coming back.

Rating: Seriously Thought About Buying Shirt.





The Countrie Eatery Family Restaurant on Urbanspoon

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Discover the Corporate Greed of “Big Second Hand Smoke”


Fricker’s
3237 Chester Blvd.
Richmond, IN
Visited January 3, 2011

Beer selection: Dive Bar specialties like PBR on draft.

Food: Dive Bar specialties like hot “boneless wings”.



It’s a sign of the apocalypse for sure.

Is there no mom & pop enterprise left in America to be spared from the unencumbered advance of cookie cutter national chains?

First it was book stores and used car lots.

Then I thought it odd when I noticed my local dry cleaners being snapped up by national chain Martinizing. I mean, I’ve heard of Big Government, Big Labor and Big Oil, but... Big Starch??

Stranger still was seeing the local funeral home go national. Big Death? Cool.

But bizarre doesn’t begin to explain the phenomenon of Larry Flint turning the now downright ubiquitous Hustler Club into the Wal-Mart of strip joints. (So I’ve heard, anyway.)

So what would that be? Big…?

Never mind.

Oh well, at least we’ll always have the corner neighborhood dive bar.

Not so fast.

Welcome to Fricker’s. (The name Hooter’s was already taken.)

Motto: “More than a handful.” (“More than a mouthful” was already taken – see above.)

Now before you doubt my very premise that the local dive bar can be chained, let me assure you of Fricker’s divey credentials. (The fact that it is a chain is indisputable, as the front of the menu claims 18 locations in Michigan, Indiana and Ohio)

How about a wall of cigarette smoke to welcome your pull on the front door? (Apparently, Indiana is the last state in America to have yet to criminalize smoking in restaurants.)

How about a 20 year old unmarried pregnant bartender slinging drinks in the hazy atmosphere?

How about blue collar guys in paint-stained sweatshirts who have been perched precariously on their bar stools since quitting time nine hours ago?

How about a local family taking advantage of “Kids Eat Free Night” – at 11pm – to feed their couple of sweet little toddler holly terrors -- one with pierced ears and the other sporting a mullet -- while mom and dad burn through a pack of Camels and down a couple $6 Coors Light Pitchers?

Oh yeah, this place is well credentialed.

I can’t wait to visit the other 17 locations.

It was just serendipity that I stumbled across this one.

It was the night of the Orange Bowl.

And my luxurious accommodations across the street at the Comfort Inn apparently didn’t include ESPN. Something about how Comcast was supposed to come out two weeks ago to fix the cable, explained my Angelina Jolie look-alike desk clerk (Yeah, I know, I was a bit baffled by why she was working here too.)

Rather than demand a refund and check out, I decided to walk across the I-70 overpass to Fricker’s to watch the game.

Like any true dive bar, of course, even one advertising their plethora of TV’s, the entire HD thing seems to have bypassed Fricker’s.

So I watched the Virginia Tech Hokies get their asses kicked by those Silicon Valley nerds from Stanford on an old fashioned 9 inch TV with no sound.

Before you start to feel too sorry for Suit757, let’s dwell a moment on the one and only positive attribute of dive bars.

Why does ANYONE patronize these places of smoke, decay, mold, sketchy characters and tasteless décor?

One reason. And one reason only.

Because dive bars are CHEAP!

And that last most crucial of criteria cinches Fricker’s status in chain dive bar infamy.

The special of the night was “Forty Cent Boneless Wings”.

So, naturally, that’s what I ordered. Or so I thought.

What my four bucks bought me was a basket full of not chicken wings, but giant fried and breaded strips of tender white meat -- what Southerners refer to as Chicken Tenders, Zingers or Buffalo Fingerz.

Ten of them!

The same thing that would cost you $13 at a Zaxby’s drive-through.

Four bucks!

But here at Big Second Hand Smoke, they advertise them as “Boneless Wings”! These Midwestern boys could use a marketing class. Not that I’m complaining.

That was the most food I’ve bought for four bucks since Taco Bell ran their 39 cent taco deal back in 1989.

On advice of my pregnant bartendress, I went a notch above “Hot” to “Frickin’ Little Kicker”. I’m glad I didn’t go higher. Or I would have had to consume even more beer.

Which brings me to the only reason to even darken the doorway of a place like this.

The beer selection was typical dive bar – pathetic.

I have a bad beer selection theory I always try to live by. If it’s really bad, go REALLY, REALLY bad.

I mean, think about it.

Why settle for Bud or Sam Adams? You can get that crap at any hole in the wall. It takes a special kind of divyness to discover “The Champaign of Beer” or the beer “Selected as America’s best in 1893” on tap.

If you’re going to take nine months off your life by spending three hours watching the Hokies get ass-jacked in a smoke filled bar, why not go for something unique – something you can’t get at your half-way-self-respecting-neighborhood bar?

That’s why I asked for a PBR draft.

Ms. Preggers helpfully told me that they were only $2.22.

“Perfect,” I thought, calculating the per ounce cost of a typical 10 oz. dive bar pull.

Except, she didn’t bring me a 10 oz. pull of PBR. She brought me an over-flowing giant 22oz. glass of 5.0 APV frugality.

Oh yeah.

That’s a better deal than drinking a Seven Eleven 40 in the motel room. And all the extra ambiance and companionship to boot.

After three hours of football watching, enough battered and fried and hot sauced chicken fingers to feed the lunch rush at Zaxby’s, the second-hand smoke equivalent to three cartons of Marlboros and 88 ounces of Pabst Blue Ribbon, the entire bill came to $12.88.

Contemplating the future of Bartendress, Jr., I left feeling guilty as hell leaving a 25% tip.

Maybe the Wal-Martification of dive bars isn’t such a bad thing after all.

Always the low price on chicken wings, PBR and second hand smoke – always. Coming to your town soon.

Rating: Would Wear A Free Shirt.
Fricker's on Urbanspoon